Much delayed update

WHAT UP GUYS! I know, I know, I am very behind on my updates. I actually have been keeping my memorable moments logged for just the right moment. That moment has finally arrived. As of this day (feb 19) I am in the Capital city, getting ready for a week-long conference to prepare me for my return home. I can't believe the time is almost here. Not a day goes by where I don't reflect on how much this experienced has changed me. It has been an exciting journey so far. So, since the last time I shared my experience with you guys was in July, I have summarized that last 7 months or so. I know this is super long, but I hope you enjoy it.

August: All of august was the month of Ramadan. For those who don’t know what it is, Ramadan occurs during the ninth month of the Islamic calandar. During this month, teenagers and adults fast from sun up to sun down. They fast from food, water, sex, bad deeds, cursing, being rude to other people, things like that. The time to break fast is determined by the call to prayer. Once the call is sounded, people are allowed to break fast. The most common foods to break fast with are dates, cake, cookies, a sweet and oily mix of flours called slilu, and soup. The soup made during Ramadan is called Harira. It is an amazing tomato based soup that contains garbanzo beans, lentils, noodles, and spices. It is my favorite thing to have during Ramadan. I decided to fast again this year. I like the idea of fasting and wanted a chance to cleanse my body from all the crap I had been eating throughout the year. I’m not saying that Ramadan is necessarily a time to get healthy; some people actually gain weight because of all of the sugary and fatty foods they eat to break fast. When I was able to control what I ate, it was a healthy change. I didn’t fast as much as I wanted to though because I dog-sat for the last two weeks of it. I realized that fasting alone is no fun and very difficult to maintain. I fasted most of the time while I was in Tata, but not the whole 30 days. It is difficult to talk to people about my reasons for fasting. Some people think that only muslims fast and if you do not practice the religion that you shouldn’t be fasting. I try to be respectful of peoples views but also inform them that there are many different ways to fast and many different reasons for fasting. The fasting that I was used to before I came to Morocco was 24 hour + water only fasts. It is a great time for cultural exchange and a chance to learn new things about islam. I would like to maintain the tradition and fast again next year. I like experiencing different religous rituals and this would be a nice one to add to my list. At the end of Ramadan, there is a celebration on the first day of the new month. It is a time to dress up and congratulate everyone on another Ramadan behind us. I love getting dressed up and walking around to see everyone. The food isn’t that bad either.


November: The biggest things about this month so far has been Leid el Kabir and thanksgiving. Leid was an interesting time. It seemed to go a lot smoother than last year, which was nice. I kind of felt overwhelmed with the amount of new people in the douar. It is frustrating to work so hard to establish a good relationship with the community only to have new people come in and be treated like a foreigner and what have you. I bought a jellaba for the holiday. I hate being the center of attention and for a lot of leid that is all it felt like. I can only handle so much holiday before I have to get out and be by myself. It just so happened that we scheduled a party for Audrey on the Thursday following leid so I was able to get away and take a break from all the festivities.

December: Yeah, the best month of the year is upon us! Despite being in a country where Christmas is not normally celebrated, I have been enjoying the festivities the best ways that I know how. I have been listening to all of my Christmas favorites and have made plans to spend the holidays with friends in the sea town of Essouira. It will be a small gathering but very fun. I’m going to make mulled wine and eggnog! The resource room is well underway. I think it should be finished by January. The principal and teachers seem to be really proud of it and I am glad to see that they have so much motivation to make other improvements to the campus. We keep discussing the idea of creating a garden. There is no way to receive any more funds for the project but they seem determined enough to find a way to make it happen. I really enjoy seeing the pride that they have for their school. The lessons at the health clinic are starting to feel mundane so I’m trying to think of ways to vamp up the lessons. I am trying to find resources that I can post or give to the women to help them feel more informed and empowered about their health. The Movies are still good, but I think they are at a stage where more specific, scientific knowledge would be more helpful to them. I have been teaching English at a women’s association in my souk town and it has been going quite well. I have discovered that I am really not teacher-material but it continues to be a fun and interesting experience. It has also given me a new appreciation and admiration for people who decide to dedicate their lives to teaching. It is no easy task!

January: This year, I spent my Christmas holiday in a fellow PCV’s site that is close to Essaouira. Three other volunteers also were able to make it. Those who had them brought Christmas lights and other decorations. We all had Christmas music ready to blast. I was able to perfect my eggnog making skills and had the opportunity to make more spiced wine but it was accidentally knocked to the floor ☹ oh well, next year enshallah. We all brought gifts and played the white elephant gift game. I received some lovely Amerian treats such as kool-aid, crystal light, kraft mac and cheese shells, a pack of gravy, and jello. I was also able to keep my personal family tradition alive and watch the Muppet Christmas Carol movie! Thanks Cara!! All in all, it was a very satisfying Christmas. The highlight of this month was my trip to Spain to celebrate New years. I went with a friend who works in the same province as me. Spain is so great! I was inspired to learn a little Spanish before I went and it certainly came in handy. I got very good with asking for direction ☺ My friend and I visited both Barcelona and Madrid. We met some really great travelers from all over the world. I never realized how diverse Spain was and I really appreciated that change. It was nice to go somewhere where you didn’t stick out like a sore thumb. Everyone is different. As far as work goes, I’m still teaching health lessons to kids of all ages. The resource room is slowly but surely improving. In December, an association from the provincial capital came to the school to do music and art activities with the kids. They also painted the outside of the building in great mural designs and painted the inside of the resource room. I couldn’t believe how wonderfully it turned out. English classes are going really well. I am so surprised every time I teach with how quickly these girls pick up the information. I know it isn’t because of me, for my teaching skills are in much need of improvement. They really keep me enthusiastic about teaching them. It’s great. I’m also teaching at the clinic. I am focusing more on SIDA information and starting discussions on home verses clinic deliveries. The women have done a really good job about having regular pre-natal check ups and making sure that their children are getting all of their vaccinations on time. Mostly I love going to the clinic so I can see and play with all of the babies. They are all so cute and happy!

February: This month began with another LEid: LEid Mulid. It is the prophet Mohammed’s birthday. On this day, the big thing is to get all dressed up and walk to the marabout. I decided that since it was my last leid in country that I would go all out and get dressed up too. I was super fancy in my Qaftan, lizar, and silver Jewlery. Another tradition is that for two or three days, the teenage boys in the community make this dish called Tagula for the whole community. It is basically barley flour with salt and water that has been mixed and heated in a big over a fire. It is stirred continuously until it reaches this thick, sticky consistency. All the girls bring their big plates to get the tagula and take it to their homes. There, they make a thick oily sauce that they dip the tagula in to eat. I know that I am not describing this well, but trust me, it is delicious! Another fun activity is that the boys in the community will have these theater-type performances for the whole community to attend. There is tons of drumming and laughter. It is so much fun. And at the end of every night, at around 11pm, the men have what is called an ahwaj (pronounced ah-who-ahj)which is a drumming and dancing performance. I never get tired of them, despite that it is in the middle of the night in the freezing cold and doesn’t finish until 2am ☺. On the last night, it was so cold that the girls watching the performance just gathered up some wood and started a bon fire. It was for me the best last Leid to spend here in Morocco.

Something else that I have to look forward to this month is COS (close of service) conference. During the second to last week of February, all of the volunteers who came into country with me will meet up in the capital to reunite and prepare for the ending of our service. Some of these volunteers I haven’t seen since November of 2010. It will be a great opportunity to catch up and it may even be the last time that I ever see some of them. The conference is a weeklong and it is also the time that we get a big medical evaluation that will make sure that we go back to the states in more or less the same healthy state in which we arrived. I’m really looking forward to it.

At this point in my service, I am really trying to be proactive with my future plans. I have started collecting resources and am studying for the MCAT. I am contacting as many people I know who may have information about job opportunities for when I return. I try not to get to overwhelmed by it and just take it one day at a time. This experience has really fueled me to work towards my next goal in life: becoming a doctor. I feel more confident than ever that I want to work in that field and although I will probably be a blithering mess for the first month or two of my departure from my community and my work as a volunteer, I will be excited and ready to do what is necessary to be accepted to a school by fall of 2013.

Hello my lovely friends and family!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer. This is one of my favorite times of year. It is such a nice feeling to know what to expect this time around, after being here for over a year. I wasn’t expecting such an easy transition back into Morocco after visiting home but in some ways it was like I never left.

I had a really funny occurrence on the train as I was heading back to my province capital. I was on the train from to Marrakech. It was a pretty busy day when I got on the bus, but I managed to find a seat. Once we arrived to Casablanca, the train was flooded with teenage boys, all wearing red and green and sporting the Moroccan flag. I have never been a fan of crowds so when the aisles kept filling and filling, I got more and more worried about what was going on. I later found out that there was a football (aka soccer) match in Marrakech and Morocco was playing Algeria. BIG DEAL apparently. Kids from all over the country were going to cheer on their team. It was an amazing site to see, like nothing I’d ever witnessed. And to top it all off, Morocco WON!! From 1130pm to 4am, the streets were filled with cars honking, people yelling and cheering, flags being flown all over the place. It was a mad house. I would have hate to have seen what the stadium was like when the game was over ☺

Coming back into country at the beginning of summer was rather difficult. Thankfully, I had a couple of weeks before the schools closed and summer vacation officially started but things were still really winding down. It is hard to do any real structured work. Most of my work is done in the schools and they were getting ready for testing. And plus it was getting really hot. It is hard to do anything outside during the day. I’ve been using this down season to hang out with people in my village and have a lot of informal conversations about different topics. A lot of women in my site are pregnant right now and may still be during the month of Ramadan (the fasting month), so I’ve been talking to them and their families about the importance of waiting to fast until they’ve given birth and to not fast consecutively if they are breast feeding. It tends to be a considerable problem that pregnant or lactating women decide to fast even though it is dangerouse fo their health and their baby’s health as well. I am trying to do a lot of planning for after summer, work related and not. I have a lot of ideas for lessons and campaigns and I feel really comfortable in my language that I think I can make it happen. Speaking of work…. I really need your guys’ help!! I am currently raising money to fund a grant to renovate a room at the school and turn it into a health resource room. It will give my community the opportunity to come together in a more formalized setting to do workshops and trainings on all topics, especially those health related. The full summary of the project is online at the Peace Corps website (peacecorps.gov). The project number is 378-158 and if you search under volunteer names, it will be under Rice B. Please take the time to check it out and read over it. If you would like to help me out on this, donate as little or as much as you desire. Truly, every little bit helps.

I have also spent a lot of my time hanging out with other pcvs. At this point in our PC careers many of us are taking this time of minimal work to focus on creating a plan for once we finish our service. It is really difficult to think about what it is going to be like outside of this new life that we’ve spent 15 months cultivating. I myself do have a main idea about what I want to do and where I want to go after Peace Corps, but other little desires are also having an affect on my decisions. For instance, I’ve really developed a love of languages since working here and now I am using my spare time to learn Spanish. I also plan to go to Spain for new years with hopes of practicing the language and learning more about the culture. I sometimes think about what it would be like to stay overseas and work, using the languages I know and maybe learning some new ones as well. I think about who I might meet while I am here. I think about my love of Moroccan culture and what it would be like to give that up. And I also think about my family and what it would be like to live so far away for so long. It was really hard at first to cope with that, but now that I am acclimated and am doing well, do I want to go back? Right now, everything is still up in the air. I love the states and I love the idea of going back and applying for med school, being close to family, continuing community outreach work. I just can’t stand the idea of not taking a great opportunity because I have had this set plan for so long. All life is about is change. I don’t want to regret choices because I was afraid of changing things up. I’m sure a lot of other people would agree with me on that.

So, that’s where I am right now. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about home. I miss you guys very much. Thanks for all of your support. And please check out my pictures on facebook. They are really lovely and can convey all that is Morocco and my service so much more than what I put into words. I love you guys.

Thanks and be well,
Bjai

Well, I made it back to Morocco safe and sound. I just want to thank everyone who I was able to see for taking the time to catch up with me! I LOVED being back home and spending time with family and friends. You really never know what you are missing until it isn't close by. I have certainly learned not to take close relationships for granted. THANK YOU ALL! Other than family and friends, some other things that I missed were yoga classes, spinach, mushrooms, vegan sweets, and soymilk. Oh, and driving. Some things that I was doing fine without were commercials, fast food, humidity, and maybe supermarkets too. Coming back almost felt like more of a relief in some respects. I have fallen dependent on the simplicity of life. I feel less pressure, less overwhelmed. The whole supermarket thing tripped me up a time or two but eventually got back in the swing of things. On the flight from Chicago to London, I sat by a very nice lady named Maryellen. She was on her way to visit her home county of England. She has been living in the states for 17 years.
Once I landed at the casa airport, I had to go to Rabat. I had never been to Rabat before so I didn’t know what to expect, or really where I was going. I called the PC office and the Office assistant was very helpful in finding me a hotel to stay at for the next few days. I also started calling all of my volunteer friends in province. I really missed them while I was away. While on the train to Rabat I called a couple of hotels. Not surprisingly, the receptionist didn’t know tashlheet so I worked with what French and Arabic I knew to make a reservation. Thankfully the hotel was really close so I didn’t have to deal with a taxi and my luggage. I was thoroughly unimpressed with the room. For 100dhs (quite a lot on a peace corps budget) I didn’t even get a shower and the sheets didn’t look very clean. But I was so tired!! It was a decent place to crash at until the next day.
Wednesday I ventured out to the PC office for the first time. I also changed hotels ☺ this new hotel has both a shower and a toilet, free wifi, AND a tv! Very nice! And only for 130 dhs! The attendant is a very nice guy as well. He is from Ghana and has a really cool name that I can barely pronounce. So now I’m just sitting and waiting for my physical on Friday. Maybe I’ll work on uploading pictures and getting to work on my grant (MORE INFO COMING VERY SOON!) I’m anxious about getting back to site. Not too much longer now.

back in the USA!

Greetings everyone!

I hope this update finds everyone healthy and happy. I believe the last time I wrote an update it was during the month of March. I’ve been quite busy with new work and getting ideas out of my head and putting them into reality. At the end of March, I worked on a project with the YD (youth development) volunteer in my closest city, Tata. She had been working with her students to choose and prepare 20 murals to be painted on the walls bordering the Dar Chebab (recreation center). It took her and her students about 2 weeks to choose which murals to put up and to prepare the walls. She also had a competition and two students, a boy and a girl, won the opportunity to coordinate and paint a mural that they designed themselves. The pictures depicted all topics such as environment, culture, AIDS, youth empowerment, and artistic beauty. I, along with 5 other volunteers from tata, ourzazate, and taroudant province came and helped the students finish the murals. The kids did a fantastic job and the murals came out really well. Something that I didn’t foresee, however, was how tiring this project was going to be. It was a great opportunity to work with kids and learn how to execute a project like this, but I needed a week to recover from the exhaustion!
Another event that I had a lot of fun working with was spring camp. In many cities across Morocco, Peace Corps volunteers work with the ministry of youth and sports to help run a week-long English immersion spring camp. The week is filled with 2-hour English classes every day, sports, clubs, excursions, and night events. I worked at the camp in Taroudant. We had 9 Peace Corps volunteers and 10 Moroccan counselors for about 160 students, boys and girls, ages 14-17. Having never been an English teacher or a camp counselor, this week was full of learned lessons and unforgettable experiences. It was great to work with kids who are so passionate about learning English and understanding American culture. I was also not used to working with “city” kids. These guys and girls were singing songs by Justin Beiber, break dancing, rapping, and many had this “emo” style that is non-existent in or around my village. It was very refreshing to have conversations about their hopes and dreams and to catch up on pop culture and current events. Many of the kids loved to dance, so for my club that I had to organize, I taught dance moves. I just took zumba class dances that I had learned last year and taught them to the kids. They loved it. And on the last day, the counselors hosted an event called Spec-Tac, where campers could perform acts, songs, dances, what have you. Three girls asked me to help choreograph and participate in a dance with them and another group asked my choreographing skills to perform a dance. They honestly did most of the work. I mostly tried to be encouraging about their ideas and helped mediate between conflicting ideas and help the groups come up with solutions and finish their dances. They did a wonderful job! I was so proud!! Helping at camp was probably the best experience I have had since working here in Morocco. I am counting down the days to next year’s spring camp.
Back in my own village, things are coming along slowly but surely. I have been trying to stay consistent with my monthly health lessons but during most of the month of April there have been teacher’s strikes at the grade school, middle school, and high school. These strikes are countrywide and are very annoying when most of your work occurs within the school. I had to cancel my April lessons because during the only time I had, there was a strike that whole week. My work with the women has been a lot better. I have developed very good relationships with the women in my community and have improved my language enough to move many of my maternal lessons from the health clinic and directly into the homes of women. It has been difficult to successfully convey my message of going to the health clinic for pregnancy check ups and giving birth to their babies, though. The women are very set in their habits and it is difficult to encourage them to make changes, but I won’t give up and hopefully the younger wives that I talk to have a better ability to change their ways.
In general news, the association in my village has begun an extensive project on caper production. Apparently caper trees grow wildly around my village and there are associations in other places in Morocco who have been collecting and processing capers to sell in super marches and other establishments that are frequented by tourists. The girls and women participating are super excited and motivated to work on this project. I know they are going to be very successful in this and I am looking forward to see how far they will get before I make my permanent journey back to the states.
Speaking of the states, I’m traveling back there this month. The whole month of May, I will be back home. I can’t wait to see family and friends. I am really interested to reflect on the changes I see in me and those back home after being away for a whole year. I’m looking forward to it. I will try to make rounds and see everyone, but I can’t guarantee anything ☺

Hi everyone! Merry belated Christmas and happy new year! I hope everyone is staying warm and enjoying time with family and friends. Tata is a pretty nice place to spend the winter. The days stay around 80 and the nights don’t get below 50. But given that my house is made of cement it turns into a fridge that stays at 60 or so throughout the day. I have to put on warm clothes when I am inside the house. Work is going along pretty nicely. I’ve been teaching health lessons inside the schools every month and also at the sbitar. The principal told me that he wants to create a health and environment room to do lessons in. He wants all kinds of technology things like a tv, dvd, projector and what not. That may end up being my main project for the time being.
During the month of December I celebrated a holiday by climbing up a mountain! Not a very big one, but it was certainly a workout  I’ve been doing a lot of biking these days a coupld of weeks agio I traveled to see some other PCVs. The total trip was about 44 miles and I did it in two days! It was really fun to bike around my site because I pass camel herds all the time.
Christmas and new years were very nice. I went to Tata and some other PCVs joined and we made nachos for dinner ad had a white elephant gift exchange. For new years I went to agadir. I was able to see fireworks and danced in a club until 2:30am. I love agadir!
January was a pretty mellow month. I went on a lot of picnics with the girls in my site. We packed a mule with supplies and walked about 1 mile away from the village. We basically set up a camp and cooked breakfast and lunch out in the middle of nowhere. We had tea and coffee and I brought a soccer ball for us to play with. In the village the girls don’t play soccer, so I was so surprised to see how much skill these girls had! They made teams and goals and were calling fouls and taking penalties. It was amazing to witness!
February has been one of my busiest months! I had another regional meeting at the beginning of the month. It was really nice to meet volunteers from other sectors and exchange information, resources, and ideas about projects. I got a lot of information about youth development and hope to start doing some leadership and team building games with the students in my site. And right after the meeting, my mom came into country!! I took her on a ten day tour of Morocco; we visited Fez and had some absinthe tea (don’t get the wrong idea, it is just herbal tea) and bought some clothes, then we traveled to a town outside of Beni Mellal and she got to enjoy some recently pressed olive oil; our next adventure was to Marrakech where she enjoyed harira and galanga tea in the Jemaa El Fnaa. We shopped a little more before we traveled down to agadir and enjoyed the beach and the English pub. Next on the list was my site, where she experienced henna and tried on some traditional outfits of the sahara. She also visited my sbitar and met the midwife nurses that work there. Unfortunately we didn’t have enough time to see souk and walk around to see everyone in the village. ** a note to pcvs who are reading this and are having family visit soon: I HIGHLY encourage you to spend a lot of time in your site. Mom and I only stayed for two days and I truly regret not giving ourselves more time to really enjoy spending time with family and friends there. Had I known what I know now I would have had my mom stay in site for at least 5 days to a week!** I think she had a good time and it was really nice for my host family to meet family from the states. They keep asking when she is going to return (enshollah ;) )
So in less than a week I will have been in Morocco for a whole year! Peace corps life really hasn’t been anything like I had expected, but I am so happy to be having these experiences. I am so pleased with my decision even with all of the ups and downs, frustrations and let downs, miscommunications, and cultural faux pas, and I can’t at this moment imagine anywhere else I want to be or anything else that I would rather be doing. I can’t believe I’ve already learned so much and I still have another year and two months to go. I plan to make a trip to the states in may, so if anyone is in the Wichita or manhattan ks area please let me know! I want to get in touch with people and catch up!! Until next time, be safe and keep on keeping on!

Cheers,
Bjai

LEid and getting ready for thanksgiving

*Ok, this blog was written a REALLY long time ago. I appreciate your interest inspite of my delay in entries. I have decided to write my entries a little differently. They will be more like journal entries with dates on them so if it takes me a long time to submit, you will know when I wrote it J Thanks for keeping up with me and my life in Morocco!*

(between the months of October and November)

Hello all of my wonderful family, friends, and blog followers! I thank you guys for checking in and keeping up with what I have been up to and learning in Morocco. So I get a couple of magazines a month from the National Peace Corps Association, and the theme of this month’s magazine is about fulfilling the third goal of peace corps: bringing our experience back home. The official statement of the third goal is … but in my terms, it is about taking our experiences as volunteers and using them to help other people expand their own worldview. I hope that my entries are helping you all see this part of the world in a new, exciting light. I always encourage you to do your own research about this wonderful country and culture that I am immersed in. My point of view should not at all be taken as a generalization of Morocco as a whole, not even as a generalization of the province of Tata as a whole. That’s what is so fascinating about this country! It is hard to believe that even within a few miles of a big city with fancy clothes, lap tops, Mercedes benzes, and washing machines there are communities that have to fetch water twice a day, wake up at 5am to bake their own bread, wash their clothes in a ditch, and are just as happy as those big city folks. Maybe more so. I still can’t get over the wonderful hospitality of my community members. They are teaching me so many wonderful things about how to approach life and daily situations.

Yesterday (October 11^th) I did my first lesson at the local health clinic. I spoke to women about family planning and the different methods offered at the clinic. I think that it went pretty well and I was able to explain everything well enough for the women to understand me. Tomorrow, Eric and I are going to do a lesson on handwashing at one of the grade school classrooms. We are going to help them make a poster of their hand prints for world handwashing day.

So for the passed couple of days I’ve been sick with a bad cold. It really sucks to be sick in another culture. I have people telling me that the wind made me sick (which I can understand their logic… wind = cold weather = lowered body temp = harder time for immune system to fight off microbes) and that I’ve been riding my bike too much. They keep telling me that I should stop drinking really cold water because that is what makes you sick. I’ve also been told what remedies will cure it. A mixture of coffee, vinegar, and lemon juice will get rid of it, as well as mixing yogurt with instant coffee as a medicine. My community members also don’t seem to use rest as a way of getting better. I don’t really want to be around anyone because I don’t want to make anyone else sick, but they tell me that I should walk around to make me feel better. I hope my cold doesn’t last for very much longer because I can’t handle having 5 “medical experts” checking in on me for very much longer J They are being very sweet by looking after me to make sure that I’m alright.

I have an interesting story about interacting with forgeiners in my community. On the 14^th of octber, outside my health clinic, a group of mechanics set up shop on the road. The mechanics were servicing cars that were coming through the town as part of a week-long rally that traversed all over Morocco. At first I was really excited to see other English speakers and wanded the opportunity to speak with them. But as I kept watching and observed the different, subtle ways that they were treating my fellow community members and their town, I grew a little annoyed with them, maybe even a little bit angry. I started to look at the bigger picture of the situation going on in front of me: This group of foreigners, coming in with no way of communicating with the people, using their road; And when their cars are all fixed up they drive off like they are on a race track when the road is full of kids. I could also get a vibe of prejudice coming from them. I am surprised with my reaction a bit, for I felt a little protective of my friends around me. I wasn’t very comfortable with the idea that the visitors may have thought more of me because I spoke English and am American. And despite whatever I feel, there is no way to change it. That is life. All I can do is be a good friend to my host country nationals and spread the word of understanding and tolerance to you lovely people.

At the beginning of November, I head to Marrakech for another training. I will learn about grant writing and take a break from my site to re-focus my plans and organize a bit more. Thanks to all who keep up with me and in case I can’t talk to you all before, have a Happy Thanksgiving!!!

PPST and my birthday!!

Hey everyone!! I’m sorry again that it has been so long since my last post. It has been an unlucky time for internet this past month; I usually only have enough time to read (and try to respond) to emails and research PC business. I hope the weather states side is bearable for you all. So what all have I been up to lately? Well about a week ago I attended my Post- Pre Service Training (PPST). It is a time where all of us health volunteers can come back together, take a break from our sites, share our experiences, and get some formal technical training to prepare us for executing projects in our sites. Even with all of the training seminars I had to attend (which were indeed very helpful and informative) I would dare to call it two weeks of heaven! We stayed in this wonderful hotel in Ouarzazate that had air conditioning, a huge swimming pool with club music, and great food (despite the lousy service). I was able to get up every morning and swim laps!! And on Friday nights, we went to this nearby club and danced until 4 in the morning! To go from three months in the bled with 120* F sun w/o AC, no real outlet for exercise, and not a whole lot to do besides talking to people and studying tashelheit, that place was pretty awesome. It was also really great to see my fellow volunteers and catch up on what everyone had been up to. It was really nice to hear everyone’s stories so far and it was also reassuring for me because despite how different everyone’s site is, so many of us had similar experiences and feelings over the past three months. The training seminars we attended consisted of various topics surrounding health issues in Morocco: Maternal and Child health, Water and sanitation, hygiene practices, HIV/AIDS, as well as helpful workshops on how to introduce peer education into the schools, how to prepare and give a lesson, and we had a panel of 2^nd year volunteers discuss how to handle Ramadan and also to just talk about their own experiences during their first 6 months of service. A lot of ideas were generated from the trainings, which I am thankful for. It finally gives me more of a direction as far as what I want to work on during my service here. I still need to do some assessing of more specific topics, such as bathroom access, water sanitation, and maternal health, but hopefully by November, I can get something big rolling that will really help out the community. For right now, I’m just going to work on preparing health lessons to teach in the schools. It is a good and simple way to establish my role as a health volunteer in the community and allows me to practice my language in a very public setting.

Another great event that recently came and went was my birthday!! It couldn’t have been more convenient to be right at the end of PPST. The Friday night before, I danced at the club with all of my friends, and then the next day a big group of us headed to Agadir for the weekend!! On the night of my birthday, we were able to find a restaurant that served asian food, and everyone chipped in to pay for my meal! Then we headed out to the English pub and listened to some interesting karaoke music :O) The next day we spent all day at the beach. I also traveled to a nearby surf town called tagazoute and hung out with some pretty cool people. The view there was beautiful! All in all, I’d say that it was one of my best birthdays (it is definitely up there with last year’s birthday, Lizzy B. J)

So today (8/19/2010) marks the first week of Ramadan, the ninth month on the Islamic calendar. Ramadan is the month of fasting where Muslims fast (that means no food OR water) from sun up to sun down. There are people who are exempt from fasting: children who have not yet hit puberty, the elderly, pregnant women, lactating women, women who are menstruating, and people who are sick. They know when it is time to break fast when they hear the call to prayer (tiwitchi). This occurs around 7:15pm. Moroccans break fast with dates, cakes, and soup, this sweet, nutty dry paste called slilu, and this cold drink of corn flour, sugar and water, called goofia. Breaking fast is a glorious time because the food is so great! This is my first time experiencing Ramadan and I decided to fast the whole month! The first day was terrible, but since then it hasn’t been too bad. The town is pretty much dead during the day; everyone spends it laying down and/or sleeping. I’ve spent a lot of my time reading and studying, trying not to sleep too much during the day. So I have the first week down and two more to go! I have no doubt that I will be able to fast for the whole month, but I’ll keep you posted on how it is going!

Before I end this post, I just want to say good luck to everyone who is heading back to school! I want to hear about what you all have been up to this summer, so send me emails! I can’t guarantee that you will get an immediate response, but know that every letter I get is SOOO appreciated and I WILL respond! Enjoy your last few days of summer freedom!

Peace!

Bjai

Wedding season in Morocco!

Hello everyone! I am sorry for the long wait and I appreciate everyone who has still been checking up on me and seeing if anything new has been posted. These past few weeks have been a real whirlwind for me! I spent my fourth of july in Agadir with some other pcv’s. We rented out a house and cooked some amazing American meals there. I can’t get enough of the ocean. Although I had a wonderful time in Agadir, the travel to and from was very frustrating. We tried to take the 4am bus, but we were told that the bus was full. So we ended up taking a taxi all the way there, which is long and uncomfortable. And I wanted to be back in my site by Monday for a wedding, but there were no taxis going to my site, so I had to spend the night in tata city and miss the wedding. It wasn’t all bad though because when I got back to site, I went to an Ahawaj, which is basically a dance concert. Ahawaj s are a big deal here. I borrowed one of my Aunt’s dresses and I had a white dress to wear there. I met the family of the bride and I ate dinner with some new women who travelled to here. I feel like my family uses me to get meat from the meal. After the meal, we watched the ahawaj until 5 in the morning. It was such a drain. I was so tired the whole next day. Then I went to another ahawaj that night. That one didn’t get over until 6am. It is a great way to meet people, but I am just not used to staying up so late.

My host father is home on vacation now. He is really nice and a very generous person. He knows French really well and also knows Arabic as well as tashlheit.

I am finally in my home! It has been quite an adjustment for all of us. I’ve had a lot of guests come and check up on me. I am also adjusting to not having water in my house either. I have to fetch water everyday. I walk with my neighbors with these big bottles and treat my water with bleach when I get home. My neighbors say that the water is good to drink, but I don’t want to take any chances J. People here are not at all used to the idea of someone being alone, so I think it will take a little bit for them to understand that I am fine by myself. I also got some “lessons” on the meals here . I’m not suppose to eat pasta for lunch because it isn’t filling enough; I should eat it for breakfast or dinner. And I’m not suppose to eat lentils for dinner because it is heavy and makes it hard to sleep. I made lentils for dinner anyway, but I didn’t tell anyone. It is also difficult to get by without eating bread here. Even when I tell people that I don’t need to eat bread with my lentils, they give me tons anyway. And when I told my family that I ate watermelon for breakfast, they laughed at me! It is so funny to me how set in their ways Moroccans tend to be.

I really like my home. I have a wonderfully big bed and and great fridge. I really don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have a fridge for cold water. It is a nice luxury.

I’ve reached the point in my service where I am truly on my own in my community. I am living in my own house, having to cook for myself, clean after myself, and do my best to not be a hermit J My house is coming along quite nicely: I have three rooms, a kitchen, and a bathroom. All pcv’s who are not here as a married couple are given 5,000 D to purchase furnishings for their new homes. My big purchases were a fridge and a bed. And then after buying furnishings for my kitchen that I need to at least survive in my house, I quickly ran out of money. I have no chairs, no table, and no shelves yet. Hopefully within the next 6 months or so I will be able to make my house a decent home.

I want to tell you about weddings here. There are TONS of weddings in the summer time. I don’t quite know if I understand the whole ceremony, but I’ll do my best to explain what I have observed. So the whole wedding ceremony lasts about a week. On the first day, the women of the town all sit in a circle and sing songs, then from the roof-top of the house, someone sends down three baskets of barley, wheat, and corn. The women sort through the barley while singing and place it in a metal pot. They then top it off with some wheat and corn and someone takes it into the house to cook it. After the left-over grains are picked up, it turns into a huge dance party with drumming, chanting, and really awesome dancing. The following days are just dance-filled eating festivals. The women let me eat with them, even though I’m not married. After about an hour of dancing and drumming, they bring out a bunch of small tables that we gather around. There are usually four courses and they have been slightly different each time I have participated. The first course is usually a beef tajine, but sometimes it is couscous too. The second course is most likely another meat dish, like a chicken tajine topped with French fries. The third course is a sweet pasta dish called sfah. It is small spaghetti noodles with powdered sugar, crushed peanuts, and sometimes raisins. The last course is fruit, usually watermelon (Dllah) and honeydew melon (shlah). The dinner is usually around 8 or 9 pm, and then there is another music concert that starts at around 11 or 12am and doesn’t end until 5 or 6 in the morning!! It has been nice to participate in all of the festivities, but they are so tiring!! I am scheduled to go to at least two more weddings before my conference in ourzazateJ

A few more weeks and it will be the month of Ramadan. For those of you who don’t know of it, Ramadan is the Islamic month of fasting. From the time that the sun comes up to sunset,

First experience as a real volunteer!

So one of the things that we are told as trainees is that we won’t really do any “work” until about 3-6 months after swearing in. During this time we are supposed to focus on language and integrating into the culture. We meet the people who are in charge (authorities, presidents, principals, teachers, etc.) and establish a rapport so that they are more accepting of us teaching lessons in their classrooms and cooperating with us on projects.

I was giving a wonderful opportunity to help a second year volunteer on one of her projects in her site. She planned a field day for the grade school in her site and needed help with running the different activities. Her and another volunteer planned 6 health and environment activities for the kids that involved topics on smoking, hydration, hygiene, youth development, habitat preservation, and waste management. I helped with the hydration station. We taught the kids about the importance of drinking a lot of water, especially in the summer, and to demonstrate the amount of water they need to drink, they did a relay race where they filled their mouths with water and had to run to two empty 2-liter bottles and spit into them to fill them up. The kids loved it (maybe a little too much). Despite some really intense competitors who tried to carry the cup full of water to fill up the bottles faster, everyone played fairly. After the relay, we taught them how to make a rehydration drink with water, sugar, and salt. The kids hated the taste, but they understood that if you have sicknesses like diarrhea it is important to stay hydrated and you lose more than just water.

Helping out was really helpful with learning new words in tashelheit and it also allowed me to practice conversational speech and having to speak quickly. I also interesting to work with the Moroccan school system. We had to be ready for anything to happen; we had different plans of action of the teachers decided not to show up or if the principal cut our time with the kids down. And unfortunately all of those things did happen. We got through it though and the kids learned some good information.

As for a site update: things are unbelievably slow! It is just so hot here that people stay in their homes from around 10 to 7. I’m trying to keep myself busy with studying language and being around people as much as possible, but I am really looking forward to having my own house. My Arabic script is coming along pretty well. I can write a few words and read a bit. My only problem is that I don’t know what the words mean . The past week has been really hard as far as language goes. Some days are better than others. Sometimes it is hard to keep trying to talk and have conversations when people can’t understand my accent and I can’t understand all that they are saying. I just hope that the light bulb clicks on soon.

Some new experiences include actually making bread in the oven and drawing up water from the well. I helped my aunt draw water all day so that she could get a roof put on her new house. I also found a house! I hope to spend my first night there tonight! Again (and I know I have said this a lot) I will keep working on getting pictures up as soon as I have good internet reception. Peace for now!

Happy belated independence day!

Agadir trip! ishwa bzzaf!

First time to see the Atlantic!

So it has been a little over two weeks in my site and things are starting to have a slower and slower pace. We are still working out transportation in and out of our site. hopefully we will be able to find better contacts that we can call upon. We are starting to develop a rapport with the taxi owners around town, so that helps a lot. Because my site is so far from the main road, I have to bike or walk to the my souk town that is on the paved road that the cars drive down, about 8km away from my home. The main problem is that not a lot of people travel a lot to my nearest major city, and they only will go if they have a full taxi (6 people). It is either a long wait or we pay for all of the seats, which is a lot of money.

I’m still getting used to my family and how everything works. I am starting to really feel the cultural differences as far as sense of time goes. I have many an awkward feeling when I am just sitting down with them for hours at a time while they work on spinning their wool or making these really neat bread containers called “agunins”. But just sitting down and listening to them speak really helps me out. I tried to spin wool, but it takes some getting used to. It is amazing to see the whole proccess of how things are made. Once they shave the wool off, they wash it, let it dry, pick through it for debris, brush it, then spin it. Then they will use it to make blankets. How cool!

I went to my first “sobey” which is a baby-naming ceremony. There is a ton of dancing, music, songs, and food. And it is all of the women in the town that are there. No men allowed! I am determined to learn at least one song and play the drum by the time summer is over. There are a lot of pregnancies and births in my site, so I should be able to get a lot of practice in.

I took my first trip to Agade this weekend and swam in the Atlantic Ocean!! Agade is a nice city, but it is a little too big for me. It is nice to get a break from the religiously driven cultural norms and wear shorts and short sleeves. There are also a McDonalds and a Pizza Hut there too. Not my cup of tea, but the other volunteers were so happy!! The beach was fantastic!! The only annoying part was all of the solicitors walking by every few minutes asking us if we want to jet ski, use an umbrella, and by expensive food and jewelry. Other than that, it was so great! I definitely got my fill of sun… too much in fact, because my back is so sore from burns! I won’t see the ocean again for a while so I guess it is worth it. There is also a supermarket equivalent to Wal-Mart here. Marjan is sinful. You can buy flat screen TV’s, laptops, patio furniture, Oreos, good lotion! It is really expensive though, so it can be dangerous if you don’t keep track of what you are buying. It really makes me excited for my house though J

much apologies for the delay

It has been way too long since I last reported what has been going on here, especially when so much has happened! Much apologies to those wonderful people who want to keep up with how I am doing!

So as of May 5th (happy cinco de mayo!) I am officially an employee of sorts of the U.S. government as a peace corps volunteer!! We finished up our training in our village a few days before that. Our final assignment was to create a health lesson and present it to our specified audience. My PST site mates and I decided on creating a presentation on germ awareness and to speak to a classroom of 9-10 year olds. One of our site mates is a tremendously talented artist and created a wonderful poster for us. We had the kids play a game of "hot apple" and tossed around an apple that secretly had glitter on it to show how germs spread. Then we had extra apples and we practiced washing our hands and the apples, then afterwards we divided the apples and had a nice snack. Even with a bit of language difficulties, it was a really good lesson. The kids seemed to enjoy the activities and they were already pretty knowledgeable of germs and what they do. On our last evening in our PST site, we invited all of the families over for a going away/thank you party. We had no idea that we would end up hosting the whole village! people brought drums and various instruments over and our host moms dressed all of us girls up in the traditional wedding outfits. It was awesome! Fortunately we had enough cookies and fruit for everyone who came by. Leaving the next day was difficult though. The night before, my sister took me around to her friends houses for me to say good bye. There was a lot of crying and even my sister eventually broke down that morning that we had to leave. I really was blessed to have such a wonderful host family there. Luckily our PPST (another training session after 3 months of being in our final sites) will only be 30 minutes away from my PST site so I will be able to go visit them soon!

So I am finally at my site and starting to get settled in to the expectations for the next two years! My host family is really nice here, but definitely different than in PST. I have a much larger family; 2 sisters and 3 brothers ranging from 16 years old to 4 years old. My sister makes bread every day and it is soo delicious!! I have had so many different types of food here: Tagula, tasaht, tabaht, and I witnessed my first lizard tajine...and I know that I saw that same lizard alive the day before with a string tied around its waist and being played with...I'm still getting used to the way animals are treated here. I will definitely never be used to it, but maybe I will be able make a difference later on when my language skills are better.

So for the first week here in site, my site mate and I have visited the local medical clinic and the high school. The workers at the health clinic are very accommodating, which isn't always the case here. We hope to visit the other schools in the next couple of weeks. We have to do a lot of traveling for various PC business. I am going to visit Agadir next weekend!! It is a coastal city that is very modern, from what I hear!

More pictures are to come! Stay tuned!

one month in...I'm ready for more!

It has been a whole month since I've been in Morocco! I really can't believe it. It has been so long since I have written, I'll try to remember everything.

reflection on packing:

Even though I tried to do all of this research and preparation, I feel like I didn't pack as well as I should. For the most part, I feel like my clothes are more casual than what is expected here. Everyone dresses in matching clothes and is always very well kept and looking nice, even if it is to walk down to a neighbor's house. Image really means a lot here. And while I feel like I have adequate clothes to cover myself up, they really aren't pieces to make one outfit. I am given a good amount of walk around allowance so I plan on buying some clothes that are more Moroccan style. Bargaining is usually the way you buy things like clothes here and I'm still not confident to do that, so it might be a little while before I get some good clothes.

CBT site:

My Moroccan family is so great! I have a forty year old sister and her mom. My sister isn't married yet, but she knows practically all of the women and families in the town. Our house is really nice and I have a big room all to myself. I sleep on the floor on a ton of blankets so it's pretty comfortable. And I'm able to do yoga, read, and just have some time to myself if I need it, which can be quite a luxury when comparing my situation with other PCTs. My mornings for the past 3 weeks have been pretty repertory. I wake up and get ready, have my breakfast of bread, olive oil, jam, and really sweet tea, and get to the LCF's house for class. We study language until 10 and have another breakfast of bread, jam, olive oil, and sweet tea. We continue to study until 12:30 and eat lunch. It is usually a salad dish of different veggies and rice, followed by a tajine. Since the tajine always has meat it in, our cook makes a separate dish of lentils or lubia for me. She is truly an amazing cook! So we have our lunch from 12:30 - 2, which gives us a lot of time after eating to relax, maybe take a nap. We begin studying until 4, then we have another break consisting of more tea, cookies or cakes, and bread with all the fixins (jam, oil, honey). After break, we study cross culture or just study language until 5:30. I usually go home right after to talk to my sister and she usually wants me to eat again. Depending on what feels right, I may go hang out with her and her friends from the neighborhood, or go to a nearby bridge where a lot of younger kids play after school. Once it gets dark, I stay home and try to speak with my family or watch tv with them. Dinner is usually at 9 or 930, and I typically go to bed right after. So if you've lost track, I usually eat about 5 or 6 times a day. I'm getting overloaded on sugar and bread! I've started to have a little more control over what I'm eating because my language is getting better and my family and I are more comfortable with each other. I'm starting to do more things around the house too. I help with the dishes and helped make spaghetti for dinner the other night. It is definitely a step by step process (imik s imik)

New experiences:

Although my village has electricity, very few households have washing machines. I'm fortunate to have one in my house, but I figured it is good to learn new skills that I may need later, so I learned how to wash my clothes in the river. It was such a great experience! All I need is some tide, a couple of buckets of different sizes, dirty clothes, and a frraka, which is a long wooden board with ridges on it. I would hawl all of my stuff to the river, fill up my bucket with some water, add my clothes and some tide, let them soak for a bit, then get to work on the frakka. There seems to be a certain method when washing clothes this way, because I was constantly getting advice on how to do it. Some girls even offered to step in and do the washing themselves. I gave in because it was faster and we were getting a lot of wind that day, but it would have been nice to figure it out on my own. I'm sure I'll have plenty of opportunities though. mashi mushkill. The really hard thing for me was making sure that all of the detergent was rinsed out of the clothes. If not, they dry really stiff. Not fun. It takes a long time (obviously) but it is a great way to socialize with the women of the community. And everyone seemed pretty impressed with me too.

Another interesting experience has been going to other peoples' houses for dinner. Us 5 PCTs at my CBT site have been the talk of the village since we got here and all of our host families are wanting us to come to dinner. Observing dinner customs is such a good way to gain insight into their lifestyles and practices. There was one particular dinner that was really different from all of the others. Islam is the largest practicing religion in Morocco, and like all religions, some families practice slightly different customs of the religion. With this family, males and females were completely segregated the whole night during dinner. I only saw the males in our group when we first got there and when we left. That was the first time that I went to a dinner like that.

As part of our cross cultural training, we learn about the religion of Islam. One thing that we discussed is the way animals are killed for food. Some of my site mates were able to witness this first-hand. They bought a live rabbit and kept it at the LCF's house for 2 days. On the morning of the second day, one of the local butchers came over and three of the five of us (me not included) witnessed the slaughter of the rabbit outside the front door of the house. It is interesting to see the differences in how most people here view the death and eating of animals. It is still a hard topic to discuss here, but I'm getting better at voicing my opinions. I don't want to take away an experience that someone feels they should have, even if I don't agree with it. It is still tough to witness the treatment of animals here though.

I'm not sure if I mentioned this in the last blog, but I experienced a hammam! It is basically like a steam sauna. There are public hammams, but I have only gone to private ones where only a couple of other people are in them and I know who they are. At first it is really gross to be able to physically see how dirty your skin is, but you get used to it.

Hub site:

About every week or so, all of the health pcts gather in the big city for technical training, debriefing, and western toilets :) It is always a ton of information, but it is really helpful and certainly useful. I feel like we won't truly understand the importance of it all until we are at our sites and experience things first hand. It is hard to stay proactive and attentive because the weeks have been so tiresome. It's just a constant flow of information and being at this place at this time, and not having time to get all of the fun errands done. I am getting better about managing my time, though. And this won't last forever, so that is good to know.

What's to come:

I have a meeting with the site director next week about my placement. I won't know about my site for a couple of weeks, but will be able to visit it for a week before I get stationed there. Because of the language that I am learning, I will most likely be placed in the southern part. I am hoping that it is near the ocean (only an hour or 2 away)! I'll keep you updated on it as soon as I am able!

til next time!

Najat

only two days...feels like two weeks

Hey! I'm sorry I don't have a lot of time, but just a quick update! This is so hard because so much has gone on! I hope that tomorrow, I will be able to go to a cyber cafe and have more time. So my training site is a small town by Ouarzazat. I am learning Tashelheet, which is one of the three berber languages. My host mom and sister are really nice. My sister is 40, so I have a more sophisticated look at moroccan life. My language and cultural trainer is awesome!! We are at school from 8 to 530 with lunch and two breaks. I am constantly stuffed with bread, oil, olives, rice, and some fruits and veggies. WHen my LCF told my host sister about my diet, I could just tell she was having a hard time accepting that. I told him to tell her that I am flexible and that we can work on this together. As far as vegan acceptance goes, people have been so kind and open to it. Our cook for lunch is so great. She cooks a variety of beans in a special dish just for me and I think she talked to my sister about it too. And yesterday at a ceremony I went to, they brought out tea for me while everyone had coffee. I got henna yesterday!! Oh it is so great. OH and for the concerned family members, I HAVE t.v (a.k.a. electricity) and a cell phone that will pretty much work anywhere I am at in Morocco. Mashi mushkill (no worries!) :)) Thats all I can think of for now. Language is intense and difficult but I'm getting it pretty well and technical training and preparation for our assignments is really good too. I forsee many good things coming from this experience (ensha-alah)!!

Blsama!!

Najart (my tashelheet name - it means secure!)

Good times so far

Woo! I am here! So the plane ride from Phili to Casablanca was long (7 hours) and I didn't sleep a whole lot, but the scenery from the airport was well worth it. The first thing I noticed when I stepped off the plane was how green everything was! After a 2 hour bus ride, passing farmland, sheep herders, and donkey riders, we made it to Marrakech where we spent the day going over paperwork and stayed the night. To be honest, I feel like I'm on vacation right now. We had nice, warm beds, amazing food, wonderful mint tea, beautiful sunshine and nice green grass to play on :)) I played frisbee for a little bit after orientation with some volunteers and this kid who was staying at the hotel. He spoke french really well and another volunteer was conversing with him and translating for those who didn't understand. COOL! The next day, we packed up and got on the bus again for a 3-4 hr ride through the mountains to Ouarzazat. What a road that is! We had to stop a couple of times because people were throwing up. I've never felt carsick before, but I definitely didn't feel amazing on that road. But the mountains and the land made it a beautiful trip. This City is so cool. There is so much to see! I've been able to explore a little bit and converse with vendors. I am surprised how my limited french skills are coming in handy. I went to the souk (market) with another volunteer and passed an area with a bunch of spices. The vendor showed us all that he had: fresh lavender, mint, thyme, oregano, rose buds, cumin, curry, anise, too many more to write down. After I bought some almonds, he gave us some dates and a fig. Delicious!!! Today there was a panel of current PCVs (current peace corps volunteers) so we could ask questions about our training and host-family life, etc. It was so helpful to hear first hand stories from people who were in our shoes not too long ago. There are definitely some things that I have to prepare myself for, but the training is renound here so I feel I will be pretty ready for when I am assigned and go to actually serve. CBT (community-based training) starts on Sunday!! I'm excited to meet my host family!! I hope the next update will be soon! And hope to put my pics up real soon:) Internet is not working very well now (I hope to have internet for a few weeks while I'm training so take advantage!!)

Last day in the US

Sorry, I have to run really soon, but I made it to staging just fine and am already enjoying the fellow trainees that I am with. It is nice to finally be amongst people going through the same feelings and emotions as me. We are really revving each other up. Most of the people are around my age (+/- a couple of years), but there are a couple of older couples serving too. They are from all over the U.S., but I am the only one from Kansas. Represent! I still have a lot of questions that won't be answered until I'm overseas, but that's ok. Next stop - Morocco!

Last night in the U.S.

I've been up since 6am packing, organizing, re-packing, and getting rid of stuff that I won't need at least for two years... if not ever. It has been such a crazy week, but very worth while. It was a great way to spend my last days in the states. I leave tomorrow at 6am for a new experience. One that will invariably change my whole outlook on life. I hope it does. I went on one last run this afternoon around my neighborhood. It was a glorious day. Now, at nearly 8 o'clock, I'm almost done packing and and cleaning and hope to end this day with some great rest. The day is here!! woohoo! I'm done waiting. I'm ready.